Saturday, November 22, 2008

Colorgenics

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

You like the better things in life. You are sensuous and emotional. You are a follower of the Arts and you seek an environment that will give you the fulfilment to the senses that you need.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Chris Brown and Rihanna

Two of the most famous and award-winning artists of their generation will perform live at Taguig City.

Those artists are none other than Chris Brown and Rihanna! :)

Yep, I'm going to watch it and I already have the ticket.

I went to National Bookstore RP to try my luck in buying the ticket but the customer service there told me that the tickets are only being sold at selected outlets. I asked her which outlet is she talking about, she told me to try National Bookstore Harrison. Then, she told me to go to RP's cutomer service. I obediently(lol) went there but unfortunately, the customer service assistant had a break. So, i waited for a few minutes then she came back to her post. And I approached her and ask her if there are other ticket outlets of the CB & R concert at RP. And Alas! She told me to go to the Robinson's Department Store Customer Service where they are selling the ticket. Parang Pinagpasa-pasahan lang ako di ba?Haha

At the third customer service, I asked about the CB & R ticket. I told the person there that I wanted the 1,545 pesos ticket. She told me "yung SELVER?" Trying to hide my laughter, I smiled and said yes. Hahaha. :) Voila! She gave me the ticket and a brief orientation about the ticket.

The concert is free standing so nakatayo kami. Haha.

malayo ako sa stage. LOL. Hahaha

Thursday, October 9, 2008

THE SOUND OF ONE HEART BREAKING

THE SOUND OF ONE HEART BREAKING
by Karen Kunawicz

Ever come across this zen koan that JD Salinger used in one of his books?

You know, the one that asks what is the sound of one hand clapping. I don't know the answer to that one. But ask me what's the sound of one heart breaking and I might have an answer.

Welcome to the dark side of love.

What is the sound of one heart breaking?

It is the sound of someone curled up in a tiny ball crying softly in the night, the sound of the first unwanted teardrop touching your skin, it's the sound of a telephone that doesn't ring, the sound of regret pounding inside your brain with every heartbeat, it's the whispers of the toy animals she gave you.

It's the shuffling of feet walking away from you, the sound of your soul shattering into a million pieces at recognizing the word "goodbye," it's the soundtrack of memories torturing you, it's the sound of feeble hands trying to push back the obstinate hands of time, it's the sound of a cherub's dying breath, the sound of all those years disappearing in the vortex of Cupid's kitchen sink, it's the unrelenting, plaintive baby meows of an abandoned kitten outside an ignoring door.

It's the sound of the rain that doesn't ever stop, the sound of all the doors in the world shutting and closing in your face at the same time, of raging, howling storms in the night when there's no one there to hold you, the sound of your voice as it screams back at you, the echo of "I love you" burning holes in you, the sound your heart makes as it tells you to lie still because nothing you will ever do will matter without love.

The sound of the waves at the polluted beach you went to as it moves from the shore and crashes inside your mind, of the sniffles that make up your pathetic "SOS-to-the-world," the cracking of the brittle black-red petals from the sidewalk vendor roses she gave, the sound of the music she used to make going to your gut.

The sound of things in your room being thrown around and landing on the floor, the caress of sharpened kitchen knives on skin, the sound your throat makes as you swallow your saltiest tear. It's the sound of your own voice calling out to someone who isn't there, of winged creatures dying and falling on a city pavement, of terms of endearment used a hundred times a day struggling to crawl into a vacuum of forgetfulness, it's the sound of your own sobs keeping you company, it's the cold, uncaring stillness of the air you share your space with.

Destruction isn't always as noisy as bombs exploding. Sometimes the ultimate catastrophes are as quiet as feather falling on the floor of a Zen monastery. No one else can really hear your heart breaking except you.

** This is so sad. :(

Thursday, September 25, 2008

GREEN will always be my color



we may have lost the championship.
but green will always be the color of victory for me. :)

Thank You Jvee 'J-shock' Casio! Good luck on the career that you'll have after college.
We're going to miss your presence in the court.

Congrats to the DLSU Green Archers! We're still proud of you! Animo La Salle!

and

Congrats to the New Champs, The Ateneo! Ooh, this is the first championship for Coach Norman Black. So, all the Black People out there! "Congrats Nigga! " hahahaha. peace! Bye bye Chris Tiu! No one's gonna miss you. Joke. :)

Let me borrow ateneo's 'loser' quote: "win or lose, it's the school we choose." hahaha. ay ang baduy. :P i need to think of a loser quote that's original and doesn't sound baduy



And Here's a message for UAAP Season 72 :


WE'LL BE BACK!


push the limit. animo spirit.
repeat the animo feat.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Ninoy's Letter to Noynoy

August 25, 1973

Fort Bonifacio

11:30pm

Mr. Benigno S. Aquino III

P E R S O N A L


LIHAM NI NINOY KAY NOYNOY


My dearest Son:

One of these days , when you have completed your studies I am sure you will have the opportunity to visit many countries. And in your travels you will witness a bullfight.

In Spanish bullfighting as you know, a man – the matador – is pitted against an angry bull.

The man goads the bull to extreme anger and madness. Then a moment comes when the bull, maddened, bleeding and covered with darts, feeling his last moment has come, stops rushing about and grimly turns his face on the man with the scarlet "muleta" and sword. The Spaniards call this "the moment of truth." This is the climax of the bullfight.

This afternoon, I have arrived at my own moment of truth. After a lengthy conference with my lawyers, Senators Jovito R. Salonga and Lorenzo M. Tanada I made a very crucial and vital decision that will surely affect all our lives: mommie's, your sisters', yours and all our loved ones as well as mine.

I have decided not to participate in the proceedings of the Military Commission assigned to try the charges filed against me by the army prosecution staff. As you know, I've been charged with illegal possession of firearms, violation of RA 1700 otherwise known as the "Anti-Subversion Act" and murder.

You are still too young to grasp the full impact of my decision. Briefly: by not participating in the proceedings, I will not be represented by counsel, the prosecution will present its witnesses without any cross examinations, I will not put up any defense, I will remain passive and quiet through the entire trial and I will merely await the verdict. Inasmuch as it will be a completely one-sided affair, I suppose it is reasonable to expect the maximum penalty will be given to me. I expect to be sentenced to imprisonment the rest of my natural life, or possibly be sent to stand before a firing squad. By adopting the course of action I decided upon this afternoon, I have literally decided to walk into the very jaws of death.

You may ask: why did you do it?

Son, my decision is an act of conscience. It is an act of protest against the structures of injustice that have been imposed upon our hapless countrymen. Futile and puny, as it will surely appear to many, it is my last act of defiance against tyranny and dictatorship.

You are my only son. You carry my name and the name of my father. I have no material wealth to leave you. I never had time to make money while I was in the hire of our people.

For this I am very sorry. I had hopes of building a little nest egg for you. I bought a ranch in Masbate in the hope that after ten or fifteen years, the coconut trees I planted there would be yielding enough to assure you a modest but comfortable existence.

Unfortunately, I had to sell all our properties as I fought battle after political battle as a beleaguered member of the opposition. And after the last battle, I had more obligations than assets.

The only valuable asset I can bequeath to you now is the name you carry. I have tried my best during my years of public service to keep that name untarnished and respected, unmarked by sorry compromises for expediency. I now pass it on to you, as good, I pray, as when my father, your grandfather passed it on to me.

I prepared a statement which I intend to read before the military commission on Monday at the opening of my trial. I hope the commission members will be understanding and kind enough to allow me to read my statement into the record. This may well be my first and only participation in the entire proceedings.

In this statement, I said: Some people suggested that I beg for mercy from the present powers that be. Son, this I cannot do in conscience. I would rather die on my feet with honor, than live on bended knees in shame.

Your great grandfather, Gen. Servilliano Aquino was twice condemned to death by both the Spaniards and the American colonizers. Fortunately, he survived both by a twist of fate.

Your grandfather, my father was also imprisoned by the Americans because he loved his people more than the Americans who colonized us. He was finally vindicated. Our ancestors have shared the pains, the sorrows and the anguish of Mother Filipinas when she was in bondage.

It is a rare privilege for me to join the Motherland in the dark dungeon where she was led back by one of her own sons whom she lavished with love and glory.

I ended my statement thus: I have chosen to follow my conscience and accept the tyrant's revenge.

It takes little effort to stop a tyrant. I have no doubt in the ultimate victory of right over wrong, of evil over good, in the awakening of the Filipino.

Forgive me for passing unto your young shoulders the great responsibility for our family. I trust you will love your mother and your sisters and lavish them with the care and protection I would have given them.

I was barely fifteen years old when my father died. His death was my most traumatic experience. I loved and hero-worshipped him so much, I wanted to join him in his grave when he passed away. But as in all sorrows, eventually they are washed away by the rains of time.

In the coming years, I hope you will study very hard so that you will have a solid foundation on which to build your future. I may no longer be around to give you my fatherly advice. I have asked many of your uncles to help you along should the need arise and I pray you will have the humility to drink from their fountain of experiences.

Look after your two younger sisters with understanding and affection. Viel and Krissy will need your umbrella of protection for a long time. Krissy is still very young and fate has been most unkind to both of us. Our parting came too soon. Please make up for me. Take care of her as I would have taken care of her with patience and warm affection.

Finally, stand by your mother as she stood beside me through the buffeting winds of crisis and uncertainties firm and resolute and uncowed. I pray to God, you inherit her indomitable spirit and her rare brand of silent courage.

I had hopes of introducing you to my friends, showing you the world and guide you through the maze of survival. I am afraid, you will now have to go it alone without your guide.

The only advice I can give you: Live with honor and follow your conscience.

There is no greater nation on earth than our Motherland. No greater people than our own. Serve them with all your heart, with all your might and with all your strength.

Son, the ball is now in your hands.

Lovingly,

Dad


Remember not the face from the 500 peso bill or the name of the international airport.. rather remember the man who fought for our country's freedom from martial law, remember a hero, remember Ninoy Aquino!. :D

"On one of the long corridors of Harvard University are carved in granite the words of Archibald Macleish:

"How shall freedom be defended? By arms when it is attacked by arms; by truth when it is attacked by lies; by democratic faith when it is attacked by authoritarian dogma. Always, and in the final act, by determination and faith."
- Ninoy Aquino's Arrival Statement

Thursday, August 7, 2008

National Hero or Not?

Veneration without Understanding vs. Veneration with Understanding

"JP Rizal: A National Hero or Zero?"



Probably one of the most debatable issues until today is Jose Rizal’s legitimacy as the Philippine’s National Hero. Renato Constantino, a historian, wrote the Veneration without Understanding which constitutes the main arguments refuting Rizal as the national hero. He provided points such as Rizal being appointed by the American as the national hero, Rizal being an illustrado, Rizal being against revolution, Rizal going to other countries while his motherland is stricken by poverty and cruelty from the Spaniards and Rizal’s alleged letter of retraction. His article became controversial. On the contrary, Armando Malay wrote the Veneration with Understanding as a response to Constantino’s article. He gave an answer to every argument that Constantino had pointed out. He made a good rebuttal to disprove the Veneration without understanding.

Taking into consideration the two articles, I have managed to gain my own insights and my own understanding regarding the matter. First, I believe that it is also a good thing that Renato Constantino came out with the Veneration without Understanding. For me, it is an eye-opener and a wake-up call as well for us Filipinos to be involved with issues concerning our beloved country. If it wasn’t for his article, Filipinos would not even try to scrutinize or discover why Rizal became our national hero. The article taught us not just to accept certain concepts and ideologies, rather we should learn to dig deeper to the meaning and reason behind it. He also made a point when Rizal was appointed by the Americans as the national hero. I believe that there was really a poor representation of the Filipinos when the voting for the national hero was done. Only selected Americans and Filipino elites were given the chance to vote. On the other hand, Armando Malay gave the answer to the questions that were brought out after the article was published. His article presented the facts that are needed to understand why Rizal deserved to be the national hero of the country. He was able to made good justifications on his stand. He stated in his article that prior to the proclamation of Rizal as the national hero Filipinos were already celebrating Rizal’s heroism. The KKK also has a high regard for Rizal even though he was not a part of their revolution.

My conviction on the controversy about Rizal’s legitimacy as the national hero is still in between. I shall discuss briefly my take on each side.

Rizal somehow contradicts himself in refusing to support the revolution. Did he not understand the consequences of publishing Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo? What is his reason for publishing his novels if he did not want a revolution? It seems that Rizal did not really want independence from our colonizers. Can it be true that his dramatic death just magnified his heroism? On the other side, Rizal reminded me of this quote: “The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyrs.” ---Muhammad. One does not need shedding of blood to liberate one’s country. Take into account the case of Mahatma Gandhi of India; he managed to make the Great Britain bow down without any force. Also, Rizal showed that choices make big differences. He made a stand; he weaved words into masterpieces and shared it to the Filipinos to open the dormant nationalistic hearts of his fellowmen. His spark of ideas brought about inspiration and motivation for the Filipinos not to let themselves be abused and helped them stand up to their own feet.

Whether Rizal deserves to be the national hero or not is still a nation-wide debate that would go on for a long time but the truth that Rizal loved our country is without a doubt and is unquestionable. I believe that if Rizal is still alive up to this very moment, he would not care being a national hero or not. All he ever wanted was to give back to his homeland, and I’m quite sure that our motherland embraces Rizal’s unwavering love. National hero or not, Jose Protacio Mercado Rizal y Alonso Realondo will forever remain in the minds and hearts of the Filipinos. And that is a fact that cannot be refuted anymore.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The choice of friends matter

I would rather have friends who don’t believe in everything I say than a friend who believes in hearsays about me.

I would rather make friends with someone who shares his or her self with me than someone who tells his or her whole life’s story with me. I do not need to know everything about you, I just need to know you.

Your friends are going to be the people whom you will share your life with for a long long time. Might as well choose the RIGHT friends than waste your precious time with individuals who do not deserve to be called 'friends'.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Friends

"The best mirror is an old friend." - George Herbert

"Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are."

"The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice."

"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."
- Euripides, Greek playwright

"Misfortune shows those who are not really friends."
- Aristotle



- Samuel Johnston


Those are just some of the famous quotes about friendship.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

untitled

"They say you'll never know the true meaning of something unless you have experienced it yourself."
[to be continued...]

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A solution to all

Is your life in deep shit?

Are your dilemmas seem unbearable?

Do you have a burden that's too heavy for you to carry?

If you think everything's all fucked up.

If you're desperate and in need

for immediate solution to all of your problems.

Don't worry.

There's an answer to all your prayers,

a solution to all your predicaments.

Introducing, FUKITOL!

haha




Just fukitol!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

for my father

Dad,

thank you for being half the reason why i exist. (the other half is mom)

thank you for all the sacrifices that you have done for our family,

thank you for the times that you had to give up your happiness

just for our sake.

thank you very much for loving us without any condition at all.

thank you for just being you.

for being the imperfect dad that you are, thank you.

for being stubborn as ass sometimes, thank you.

for scolding me when i became too naughty, thank you.

for the times that you give us everything that we want while you don't get yours.

i remember when i was young, i always ask you to buy me chocolate everytime you go home from work. and you always did, thank you.

i will always be the son who'll keep on waiting for his dad and his pasalubong, a chocolate bar. :)

Dad, Papa, Tatay, Itay, you will always be my father and nothing can ever change that. :)

I love you Dad.





P.S.

Dad, i need money now. haha

send me some. haha

kidding'. :))

Sunday, June 8, 2008

three straight partying weeks

alchemy-ascend-embassy.

i couldn't believe myself that i did this.

three consecutive weeks of non-stop partying (and drinking?).

hahaha.

am i now becoming a party animal? haha. maybe.

but hey, i'm young and single so there's nothing wrong with partying. hahaha.

seriously though, i'm happy that i act my age and not a trying-hard-to-be-adult-because-of-college. hahaha. :)
i'm glad that for those partying nights, i managed to set aside the stresses and pressures coming from different factors.

weeee..

car, sa birthday mo ah? jager tayo! hahahaha. :D

+ a party goer is not a wild child. +

"Let the spontaneity of youth take over you. Be yourself. Release your inhibitions. Live the good life. "

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Friday Adventure- May 23, 2008

It was Friday and only 3 days away before another hell term begins. Haha. Luckily, I was able to maximize my last few days of “vacation”. It was undoubtly an adventure to remember.

My day began when i went to BPI Makati to meet up with my aunt. When I arrived there, I found out she was not there. haha. Her office is at the 14th floor of the building and to find out that i went there for nothing is a little bit of disappointing. haha. So, i sent her a text message and she called back instructing me to go to delifrance. Upon arriving at delifrance, we talked for a few minutes, and when I was about to leave, she gave me money. weeeeh. haha. Yes, natuwa na ako dun!

As I was walking towards greenbelt, my mom called and we had the usual conversation, the kamustahan and all. Then I told her that I'm going to DLSU to enrol myself. She also told me to ride a bus going to buendia, and then ride a jeep to DLSU. And it's cool because I only get to pay 18 pesos as compared to riding the LRT and MRT just to get to DLSU from ayala. haha. Nakatipid pa, ayos!

At DLSU, I saw lots of people outside the accounting office.The seats outside the acc'tng office are fully occupied so other's are standing. The enrolment procedure is slower than usual maybe because of the number of people that they're handling on that day.

After enrolment, I rode the LRT to EDSA Taft, then rode the MRT to Shaw. (Yes! Mejo magaling na akong magcommute.) At Shaw, i went inside EDSA Shang because Car is inside waiting. :p We met up there and after a few minutes, walked our way to MEGAMALL just to buy a pouch and another stuff.haha. Wala naman kasing mura sa Shang e. :D After purchasing the pouch, we went to Krispy Kreme to eat doughnuts of course. Nilibre ako ni Car, wohoo!

Then, we went back to Shang. We were to meet Migs by 5:00pm. We're a few hours early so we kill time by going inside some shops, and by walking all around the mall. We decided to eat some ice cream at Haagen Dazs. This time, I treated car. She had a single scoop of dulce de leche and I had the usual, Macadamia Nut. We took our time savoring the ice cream. hahaha. After eating ice cream, we walked and we walked some more, it's a walkathon for short. By 4:30pm (?), Migs finally arrived but we're still waiting for jeatte, corrine and tasha. Knowing tasha, we know she'll be late. hahaha. peace tasha. We stayed at Le Coeur de France and took some pictures using Mig's new phone, N95. So Cool pala ng n95. haha. After such time, we saw wilex! Hoy wilex, nakita ka naman. hahaha. :D ehem! wala lang.

It was pass 6pm when jeatte arrived, we stayed for a while at Shang but eventually, decided to go to Mig's house and just let corinne and tasha go to mig's house by a taxi ride. At Mig's house, we ate pizza for dinner. wooh. i miss pizza. :) I think tasha and corinne arrived at about 8:30?! haha. Then, we take vanity to its peak again by taking lots of pictures at mig's wonderful house. fyi : si mig's may bagong phone, bagong pc and bagong laptop. PM me if you want to kidnap him.

We left mig's house at around 9:40pm and we arrived at Alchemy by almost 11:00pm. Cool, maganda rin pala sa alchemy. Though di masyadong maganda ang location nya. Before entering Alchemy, we met up with Drew first. It was already 11:00pm but there wasn't many people inside. We we're supposed to find a seat pero 10,000 pesos pala ang babayaran for the VIP seats. But at least drew was able to find a seat that's for free. :) Bumili na lang kami ng drinks namin. :D It was pass 12:00pm when we got to party! wohhoooo! Party like there's no classes on Monday! hahaha. :) It was so fun though I don't feel the sound system. May part pa nga na may gap yung music eh. yung parang tumalon?. haha. :D

It's great to party with your friends, nakakatanggal ng stress! :D Next time ulit! haha.

Friday, May 16, 2008

parentless this summer

disclaimer :
this blogpost won't inspire you and won't be of help to you. so, if you still want to read this, then go on. hahaha.


my mom and my brother are not here in the philippines
which leaves us (my other brother and i), parentless.

in some ways, it's kinda cool.
you know, without the "sermons" that sometimes come out of nowhere,
and all the "do this, do that" or the "don't-you-know-how-to-fix-your-bed?" taglines of my mom.

when i first realized that my mom's going for a vacation,
i said to myself "Great! I'll get even more stuck here at home since I have to take care
of a lot of stuffs including taming my wild brother. lmao."

well, indeed i was right.
haha.
but it's okay.

at least, she gave me money. haha.

but then, she gave me the responsibility to allocate the budget for daily market expenses
and so on.

it's cool coz' i get to be the boss of the house. haha. though no one seems to care even my own brother. haha. kiddin'.

i am really bored right now,
i'm all alone in the room doing nothing.

and my brother (who was supposed to be with me right now) is somewhere out there beneath the sun probably swimming and having fun.
yes, he's gone with his friends. and they went some far place just to have a swim.

ahaha.

so here i am, literally alone.
dad's not here
mom's not here
paolo's not here
anton's not here.

while i rot myself here at home.

should i go to the mall?
should i watch a movie?

i should.

but i can't.

haha.

weeeeeee.

pero one of these days,

kailangan kong maglakwatsa.

Friday, May 2, 2008

it's not normal to be normal

nobody is normal.
we just all differ in our level of abnormalities.

haha.

sorry, senseless post.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

my summer class info

As if anybody would care about my summer hahaha.

Wala lang. Since I don't have anything to do right now, I'll post my summer sched na lang. :))

Note: This is what boredom can do. hahaha.

Writing is my soul

"Writing is more than a best friend, a lover, a mother, a father, a brother or a sister. It is your heart and soul reflected on a piece of paper, weaved into strings of words, and personified through your trusty pen."

Writing has always been a part of me. I carry it inside my heart every single day. Like a shadow, it is with me all the time.

Growing up, I never thought that I'd learn to love writing.
When I was still young, I never had that inclination to write my heart out. For me, writing was just a school activity done at school and left at school.

I was not exactly sure when our how I started to love writing. It came to me in just a flash. The next thing I knew is that I begin writing poems and essays, and blogging. I didn't even know that I am actually making sense with what I write back then. I just write and write and write till my pen runs out of ink or till my fingers got tired of pressing the keys of the keyboard.

I am not a grammar police nor a punctuation checker. I have no particular standards into what I write. I have this understanding of writing : "Writing is not perfected through correct spelling, excellent grammar, and longetivity of composition. It is through the unity of a person's heart, mind and soul that one writes the best."

Writing is neither my profession nor a simple pass time, it is who I am. It is my outlet of my thoughts and emotions. It is my counselor when I have problems, my guide when I'm at lost, and my sanctuary when there's no other person that I can turn to.

I may not be an exceptional writer but the hell I care, I don't write to impress rather I write to express.

People may not understand the way I truly am but I need not to explain anything to them. Let them be perplexed and be baffled by the mystery of being me. :)

J'adore writing! :)

To everyone who loves to write : Never let go of your love for writing. It will take you places even without lifting a foot. Just write, write and write.

POETRY : Like Glue

[wrote this poem more than a year ago]

Your face is worth a thousand w o r d s

You're beautiful beyond all worlds.

You seem so perfect,

while I need a quality check.

We're standing in the same horizon,

But it feels like we're in different dimensions.

My hands want to caress you,

I'm stuck on you like glue.

But you don't even care,

As if i was never there.

Between us is a line you drew,

Keeping me far from you.

You made me feel all the pains of hell,

You made my heart bleed and swell.

Of all the hurts you've given me,

I can't find a way to get angry.

I don't know if I'm in love with you,

I don't really have a clue.

But this I believe that's true,

I'm stuck on you like glue.

Monday, April 14, 2008

state of ennui

i am BORED.

and i'm feeling LAZY too.

i am at the verge of sheer desperation into doing anything just so that i won't be B-O-R-E-D anymore. joke. OA naman.hahaha.


well, pardon me for my rantings but i am just so freakin' bored. :D


can anyone amuse me right now?! hahaha. :D

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

my grandfather's quotable quotes

these 'quotes' came from my grandfather, Luis Salvador's letter to my grandmother. Friends, year 1940 ang letter na ito! hahaha.



"In fact, I have it known to you preciously that my only happiness or my only happiest moments in Manila is when I write you something. You might say I am foolish and that you can not believe because it is really hard to believe...and to imagine what other people can do"


"But here is what I do to get the thrill whenever I write to you: I always place myself in such a situation that I seem to see you in person before I begin writing. Then, as I start writing, I consider myself talking to you face to face. So that everything I say in my letter I always mean to say them all to you. "

"I fully understand that women must not only follow, but also make their own decision to retain their dignity. Although in most cases, their opinion is likely absorbed for some better reasons." (hahahaha.. lolo tlga)

"Make up your mind and uncover your opinion. Don't consult anybody else and have full confidence on our "three best friends - sound judgement, caution and common sense. I believe in your well developed faculties, besides, I love you so much that I trust you my destiny." aaaaw... mushy!





from a different letter from my grandpa

"Nobody is a master of time as well as no one else can master time."

Monday, April 7, 2008

my 19th birthday story

April 4, 2008.

It is of great significance for a person to celebrate his or her birthday. For an individual, his/ her birthday is the most special event in his or her life. It only happens once a year and might as well enjoy it, right?
I don’t expect a grand celebration of my 19th birthday. I don’t expect tons of gifts (woshoo. Plastic.haha) but the least that I expect on my birthday is what I actually got, STRESS. What a marvelous birthday gift!

STRAMIS. I came to school wearing my formal attire in preparation for the STRAMIS Defense only to find out that Ms. Pineda no longer wants us to have our defense. Our group pleaded ang begged for a reconsideration but she was not in the mood for a negotiation. She’s thinks that we prioritize other subjects over hers. For goodness sake why the hell would we even beg for a reconsideration if we do not care about her subject?! I admit that we have faults in moving the schedule for our defense but we never intended it to work that way. Fate is cruel on us on that day, on my birthday. We tried a couple of attempts to ask her again for reconsideration but there’s no point in battling things out at that moment. We waited for her outside the faculty but we never saw her again. Nalusutan ata kami. Wahaha. So, our group decided to email her the next day na lang.

APPSDEV. That’s the whole April 4 was really about, and not my birthday. Drama! Hahaha. The agony of waiting for our demo is like a lasso hitting your back each second. Everybody’s frustrated, worried, pissed-off and fucked-off. Our minds are occupied with anxieties, fear, tension, and stresses. For some time I feel like falling apart all because of great hunger and thirst. Bwahahaha. The last meal I ate was breakfast at jon’s house. I desperately wanted to eat but I said to myself, to be fair for my groupmates, I won’t eat unless they eat too. All for one, one for all. Hahaha. The hands of time moves swiftly and without our notice, demo na namin. :p Allan Chu is right in front of our faces. I was a bit nervous because I will be the one demo-ing. And wala pa kaming bonus nun. Hahaha. Luckily, mabait si Sir kay Tim at binigyan pa kami ng 75/100. Hahaha. But the Mp grade that I need in order to pass is more than 100. We needed to do the demo. Lahat ng desperate attempts ng panghihingi ng tulong sa ibang groups ginawa na namin. Till 8pm naman yung chance na binagay ni sir para mahabol pa yung grades e. Fortunately for us, nagawa naming yung AJAX. Thanks to our friends. And thanks to lez kasi siya yung tlgang nag-ayos nun e. Finally, nagawa naming yung bonus. Nagging 105/100 na kami sa MP3. Thank God! And with that, I passed APPSDEV. Wohoooo. Salamat Salamat sa Diyos! Haha. Worth it ang lahat ng hirap.

After ung MP demo namin, pass 8pm na ata binalak pa namin nila lez at tim na mag-Absinth. Hahaha. But hanggang balak lang yun dahil mamamatay na kami sa gutom. We were supposed to eat at McDo ata but I declined since it’s my birthday and I have to go home naman! Haha. And what’s the sense of celebrating your birthday if you won’t even get to eat your handa? Di ba?! Kahit mamatay-matay na ako sa gutom at uhaw, nagdesisyon parin akong umuwi ng bahay. Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, pagod na pagod na pagod na pagod na pagod na pagod na pagod na gutom na gutom na guom na gutom na gutom na gutom na uhaw na uhaw na uhaw na uhaw na uhaw na uhaw na ako. I was not in the mood masyado pag dating ko sa bahay. Sakit ng ulo ko eh. Haha. But deep inside I’m thankful that I passed APPSDEV but half of me is still sad because of STRAMIS. Haha.

Despite a series of unfortunate events and mishaps that occurred on my birthday, I am still thankful for the 19 years of my existence. I am thankful for the life that I have right now even though there are many problems.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

the story behind april 3

April 3, 2008- A day before my 19th birthday and a day before the APPSDEV demo and STRAMIS defense. Tim, Lez, and I decided to sleep over at Jon's house to make our MP3 together with Jon, Jeh, Car, Janna. At first I was reluctant to go but what the heck, i/we NEEDED this sleep over. And by the way, should I call this sleep over? coz' we hardly had a good sleep. Haha.

Anyway, flashback to thursday morning. Again, I wasn't able to attend humaart because I didn't woke up. Hahaha. Car, texted me that I had 8.5 accumulated absences which mean that I exceeded the 5 allowable absences and in essence would result to FDA (Failure Due to Absence.) Waaaaaa. Failing due to excess absences is a total and major piss-off. I still believe that attendance does not measure your competence in a subject.haha. (Now, that's what you call 'palusot' w/ style lol.) I said to myself "I need to talk to our professor" but I have classes to attend and I needed to prepare for our defense in BPOUTSR. So, I arrived at school, ate lunch, read the report for BPO. Then, BPO defense. I guess it turned out well. Then, wirtech demo. T'was okay too.

After the class, I rushed to William Hall to look for MS. Pacis, humaart prof but she's still at her class at Miguel. Then, I went to Miguel and luckily I saw her! Voila! Talked to her but didn't get what she told me. haha. The conversation was so quick that I felt like she didn't want to talk that time. I think she said that " I won't fail students because of attendance blah blah." *sigh of relief.* haha. I went straight back home after to eat and prepare my stuffs. Then, I went to Paco to meet up with Car. We ride the LRT, then MRT. We met up with Jon, Jeh, Tim, Lez at McDo, Q. Ave. After that, we split up into to groups and waited for a taxi. Derecho na kami nun sa bahay nila jon sa 16 Dona Francesca, Filinvest II, QC. haha. Jon, I've memorized your home address.

And by the way, this is the FIRST TIME that I'll spend my birthday at a friend's house. Hahaha. T'was 'fun' naman kahit gumagawa kami ng MP. haha. May nagawa ba kami?! hahahahaha. By 11:30pm, Lez and I emailed Ms. Pineda to move our defense at 1:00pm Friday. I know it was a very late email but it wouldn’t be late if treisha emailed ms. Pineda earlier. Haha. Amf! Haha. So, as time went by, sobrang sabog na kami. Uminom na nga kami ng Bacchus e.. pero napagod na rin kami ng mga 4:00am. Natulog na kami ng 4:00am and then ginising kami ni Tim ng 6:20 am.

"Next time na yung story ng birthday ko. hahaha"

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Will it be a happy Birthday?

On April 4, Friday, I'll be turning 19 years old. Man, Can you believe it? I'm close to being 2 decades old! But as much as I anticipate my birthday, I am so not excited for Friday because first, APPSDEV Demo.. then STRAMIS defense. Wow. Like Hitting two birds with one stone. Damn!

Do you know how it feels like not to be excited for your birthday simply because you have project demo and defense?
Of course you don't, But I do. hahaha. Waaaah.

Lord, Gift nio na sana sakin na maganda ang demo at defense sa friday. Puhleeasse.. :)

I can't believe how your academic life can ruin ruin your self-esteem.hahaha

and I'm laughing but I'm sad and frustrated. haha. Weirdddddddd.

Monday, March 24, 2008

superclubs vs. bars

haha.

raphael and i learned something from yeye. "the difference between a superclub and an ordinary bar". I actually thought that superclubs and bars are just the same. Pinaganda lang yung term na superclub. hahaha. Di ko alam may difference pala talaga un. Sorry inosente ako. haha.

a superclub's entrance fee comes with a whooping 500 pesos.. and it won't get any lower than that. unless of course, there's a certain event or something. tapos yung drinks daw nila di rin bababa ng 100 pesos. kahit h2o lang. haha.

then yung ordinary bar, opposite lang ng superclub. wahahahha. ang galing ko tlga magdifferentiate. hahahaha.

Sorry naman, napaka-nonsense ng post ko. hahaha. ^_^


my birthday is coming. but i'm presently penniless. :P

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Trip down to memory lane : productive vacations

When I was young, my parents and my aunt (Dad’s sister) wanted me to have a productive vacation. Specifically, they want to enroll me in summer workshops or classes. Here are some of the activities I did during my school breaks when I was still in elementary.
Swimming classes
- I was enrolled at a swimming class at Sucat when I was Grade 4(I think?.) I learned the basics of swimming, how to do the “bubbles”, use a kickboard, and dive!haha. And I remember the swimming relays we had. Nauna yata ako one time. Haha. Pero enrolling in a swimming class doesn’t mean na magiging magaling kang swimmer. Tingnan mo, nakalimutan ko na yung mga tinuro sakin.hahaha. :D

- May continuation pa yung swimming class ko, di ko na maalala kung kalian.haha. grade 6 na ata un. Sa Camp Crame naman! Yes, dun sa military camp. At Militar yung nagturo sakin! Police officer ata? Haha. May cadence pa kami.haha.

Basketball Camp
- I think I was in Grade 5 nung nagbasketball camp ako. Hahaha. I was enrolled at a basketball camp held at Festival Mall every week. I dunno kung once or twice a week siya? Our basketball trainers were actually PBA Players. Yung mga legendary PBA Players. Meaning, mga retired na.hahaha. yung si Ramon Fernandez ba yun?haha. Ang saya nung basketball camp although nung una ayoko tlga.hahaha. pero pag binabalikan ko siya, sobrang galing ng training. Haha. As in professional tlga.hahaha. Ang saya! :p Kaya lang lumaki ako na “bano” sa basketball.hahahaha.

So far, eto lang yung mga naaalala ko.hahaha. Shet, I miss being a kid tuloy lalo. :P

Monday, March 10, 2008

wala akong maisip na title.haha

The society has imposed certain norms and standards that we should follow. We live by the rules of community. We should do this, do that, and be like this, act like that and so on. Most of the time in our lives, we are being controlled by the expectations coming from our family, friends, mentors, and other people around us. If we didn’t meet their expectations, we are failures. If we didn’t follow societal norms, we’re rebels, weirdos or whatever you may call someone who’s different than what people expect you to be. These are wrong ideals but it’s what’s happening today. No matter how much we deny it, we tend to follow what the society entails us to do.

blah blah. tinatamad akong ituloy. haha.

Monday, March 3, 2008

BROTHERS FOR SALE.

CARE TO BUY MY BROTHERS?

1. PAOLO LOUIS- 15 years old.

2. MIGUEL ANTONIO- 12 years old.

JUST PM ME for their prices(negotiable).

THEY ARE 'SLIGHTY USED.' NO NEED FOR BATTERIES. :))

NO RETURN.NO EXCHANGE. haha

Sunday, February 24, 2008

negative chi is eating me up

Sometimes, I think to myself "Did I ever make something right?"
Well, I guess I did. But more often than not, I always.. and
I mean always mess something else in
my life. I make wrong choices that would
lead me to my doomsday.

"Aren't there any normal people left on Earth, or is everybody just back from hell?"
-Spawn


*sigh* Is the world gone wrong? Did I wake up at the wrong side of the bed?
Or is it just me?

Everything's just not right. FamiLy. schooL. other friends. etc.
Shit, I'm so paranoid. Pinoproblema ko lalo
ang mga problema. Hahaha.
Damn! Ipadoktor nio na ako. Pls.?

Crude, I'm weird.

Hahahahaha.

STRESS + PRESSURE + DEPRESSION
+ ANXIETY = MENTAL BREAKDOWN

Monday, February 18, 2008

political mess

"The Philippines has already seen and heard countless lies and fabrication of truth from the government. Seeing politicians talk on national television is like watching a low-budgeted fictional show, everything is obviously fake or phony. It is a torture for me to listen to news on government or politics but I would rather endure listening to these lousy reports than act like I’m not hearing anything."

As a Filipino citizen, I cannot bear carrying the knowledge that the leaders of my homeland brutally steal money from the nation’s budget. It seems that government officials have committed all the imagineable sins to our country. There's graft and corruption, plunder, perjury, betreyal of public trust and others. Man! I thought the government is supposed to help and lead the people to the betterment of their lives. Look at our government now! Sure, the economy is probably getting stronger but are we experiencing the benefits of a developing economy? A Big No No! Life's not getting better in the Philippines. No wonder why some people chose to leave the country not just to work abroad but also to run away from all the bull shits that our government is doing.

Scandals and issues bombard the Arroyo regime every now and then. I must say, GMA managed to surpass every problem that her administration had faced. The most recent controversy that her administration is facing is the ZTE SCANDAL. True enough, the people invovle in this issue denies that they have anything to do with the ZTE SCANDAL. If my memory serves me right, I think this issue began with Joey De Venecia filing a case against Mr. Abalos and then, CHED Sec. Romulo Neri exposed that he was bribed by Mr. Benjamin Abalos in favor of the ZTE Broadband Deal. Senate investigation were done regarding this matter. After such time, the star witness Jun Lozada came out saying that he was held captive by what seem to be the military or could be hired men. He was picked up by these men from the airport. He was not supposed to go to the Senate because he was afraid of the safety of his life and his family's welfare too. Only that, he felt the need to tell the whole truth behind the ZTE scandal as a sign of giving back to the Philippines. Names were dropped, events were narrated by Mr. Lozada. As the Senate hearing progresses, more and more issues were unraveled. Some Senators whole heartedly believe in Mr. Lozada, others tried to destroy his credibility but in the eyes of most filipino's he is a hero. He is one of God's answered prayers for the Filipinos. Majority of the Filipinos put their confidence and trust in Jun Lozada that he will be the key to end corruption in the government. For me, he should not be called a hero rather a courageous man who manage to pull himself together and to tell the truth despite the threat in his life. Yes, he had his own share in the scandal but I admire his willingness to bare everything that he knows behind the controversy. I just hope and pray that he will not be used by the power-hungry politicians who just want to be put into position. And I hope that the Filipinos would not cease to support him. I wish that filipinos will not let the ZTE scandal pass by just like all the issues that disappeared like bubble.

I should be programming right now but instead here I am blogging about jun lozada’s expose. Hahaha. Geez, my nationalistic side is coming out again. Hahaha. Go Lozada. Boo Benjamin Abalos and FG Arroyo. Damn you, GMA! hahahaha. :) Wala na kayong mga dignidad. Hahaha.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Feeling all blue on the day of the reds

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day or Heart's Day..
For couples, it's "their" day. one of the most happiest moments of their relationship.
For some who are currently single (like me), it's nothing but a cold day full of sentiments.
I'm happy being single.. or probably I just got used to the fact that i'm currently single. But still, there are those short times of longing. longing for someone's skin to touch your skin, lips to press against your lips, and soul to embrace your soul. there are those days where i want affection and care. there are moments where I want to know how it feels to love and be loved all at the same time.
And so, while couples celebrate their love for each other, I, on the other hand, watch roses, chocolates, hugs & kisses that keep passing me by.

I am not bitter, well maybe I am. I don't know. It's my fault anyway that I am where I am right now. senseless isn't it? hahaha.

Anyway, Valentine's day is not only for lovers because it is for everyone who knows how to love. It is for every living creature in this planet who's capable of loving.:)

haha.,

Have a Happy Valentine's day everyone!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

if YOU forget ME

If You Forget Me by

Pablo Neruda


I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
"my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine. "

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

excited for me new laptop

yeah baby. my new laptop is coming na. although it's not MAC like the one i had before, i'm still excited for it. haha. 3GB yung RAM e. (2GB tas pina-update kaya naging 3GB). yeyyyy!!!! ^.^

hahaha. next stop, iTOUCH or iPOD TOUCH. haha. *fingers crossed*

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Warrior of the Light

For the Warrior, there is no such thing as an impossible

love.
He is not intimidated by silence, indifference, or

rejection. He knows that behind the mask of ice that people

wear, there beats a heart of fire.


This is why the Warrior takes more risks than other people. He is constantly seeking the love of someone even if that means often having

to hear the word "no", returning home defeated and feeling rejected in body and

soul. A warrior never gives in to fear when he is searching

for what he needs without love, he is nothing.



- excerpts from "Warrior of the Light" by Paulo Coelho

Saturday, February 2, 2008

realization with my course

All this time, the society is continuously imparting in us that computers make our lives better. I had that belief with me ever since I was a child but not until I took the course, ICTM. This course changed my every perception about computers. I have realized that computers make people’s lives easier but not for IT professionals. Hahaha.

Monday, January 28, 2008

random idea: dare to face the truth?

They say the truth will set you free but is it actually possible that the truth, somehow, could imprison you in a much worse confinement than before? Perhaps, the truth doesn’t always equate to freedom. It may momentarily uplift you from your current burden, but it could also lead to a another dilemma.



yes, the truth may set you free but do not forget that facing the truth also has its consequences whether goodor bad.





| this is just a RANDOM idea produced by my faculty of thought. it doesn't necessarily mean that this is my stand. mapaglaro lang talaga isip ko. lols. haha |

frustrations

"Each passing day constantly reminds me of the things that I should have and should have not done. It's like a recorded video that keeps on playing on my mind. I wake up everyday realizing that I should have taken a different path from what I have chosen. But i am still and immobile, I can not even lift a single finger...."

poor unfortunate soul

want to know what LUCK had come to me this day?

it's like this, i placed all the files of my Machine Project1 in my USB since my computer is suh a CRAP. a big pile of technological bullshit. I decided to do my MP at my mom's soon-to-be-laptop. So, i then took my usb and checked the files there. It opened, and i deleted some files when suddenly, with one struck of misfortune, my USB got destroyed, damaged, corrupted, or whatever shit you may call it.. basta nasira siya. tapos. hahaha. as in kahit ilang beses kong subukan hindi na siya maread ng pc. hindi na nga nagbiblink yung LED pag kinakabit mo siya sa usb port e. haha.

Hindi lang yung files sa MP ang nawala.. pati pala yung RESIN. haha. :D

Oh well, i have to start from scratch..... fuck. haha